Failure

I have good news and I have not so hot news.

The GREAT news is...the MRI is NEGATIVE!!! No tethered cord, no hydrocephalus, just perfect baby boy spine and large head!! :) I'm sitting hear crying out of joy because I've had myself mentally prepared for the worst. Tonight in his crib, he pulled him self to his feet and was gleaming from ear to ear because he knew what he did! Once he was up, he couldn't maneuver his legs under him so he quickly fell, but HELLO! How awesome! I can't remember if I was on the phone with my Mom or MC, but I had to stop to cheer! :)

The not so hot news...the barium swallow did not go good at all today. They start the study off with different things covered in barium or mixed with barium...yummy huh? Made me gag just watching. Anyway, baby food went good...crackers good....thin liquids, minor fail...nectar thick liquids, minor fail...honey thick liquids, major fail. He took a total of an ounce and they quit because it was that evident that it was not going good.

Not gonna lie, I broke down immediately, was it the end of the world...no, but my concerns had been confirmed FINALLY! So, Mary (ST) and Tina (OT) (the same 2 I was frustrated with Wednesday) did awesome. They reassured me that there were steps to take now and that they were contacting Dr. Prestridge before they would let me leave.

Mary spoke with Dr. P and stated her concerns and recommendations and then Dr. P spoke with me. The options were placing a feeding tube down his nose and feeding him that way or not changing anything and see what happens. After discussing with her the constant antibiotic use and the fact that I feel it is progressively getting worse and that we are 3 hours away (not that Doc couldn't handle it) should this continue to get worse and something serious happens, the decision was made to place a nasogastric tube (a tube through his nose to his belly to feed him).

She said she wanted to talk with Dr. Kronberg and would call me back. She called me back and said that he was going to be admitted to Children's for NG placement. Away to the admitting desk we went.

We hit the floor and the hospitalist finally came and talked to us, went and looked some things up and then came back to discuss the plan of care. He said that at this time, he didn't feel the the need to place the feeding tube. According to the report, it was a "mild" aspiration and besides...he'd probably pull it out. I voiced my concerns and when he blew them off...I quit listening. All I could think about was that I could be home with my other boys and why the h*** were we here then! My other thought...Dr. P did call me from her cell...could I reach her at 8:30 p.m.? I didn't call her!

My thoughts since have included...whether a patient is 11 months (which he is today), 11 years or 80 years...the risk of pulling out the NG is the same. We have adult patient's remove them all the time! My other thought...mild or not he is STILL ASPIRATING!!! Why are we okay with the injury to his lungs? Seriously? I mean I have 2 other boys with lung problems, why not make it 3 right? WTH? Why don't we want to try to PREVENT this?

Do I want to put a tube down my baby's nose and feed him through it?...NO! Do I want him to risk having chronic lung problems when it could have been prevented...uh duh. It scares me to know what is happening when he drinks his bottle. I mean, he drinks it and right away you can hear him start to sound wet.

I spoke with Jess about this and the nurses working with him, all kind of agree with me...Why are we changing the plan of care, after admission? I guess I will just find out in the a.m.

What a trooper though through this week. He's started making a new face, it's this surprised look and then after he gives us a big cheeser grin!

I miss the big boys. I haven't seen them since Tuesday at 8 a.m. When I talked to Matt tonight he said...I'm okay with you staying Mom. I didn't even have to ask. Andrew on the other hand was bothered by it. I'm glad it's a holiday week next week and will have time with them!

My mother in law reminded me tonight that it was 1 year ago this week that I went into labor with Chris and was in the hospital in Omaha myself. I'm really starting to not like Thanksgiving!