thoughts

I sit here and watch Matthew and he does weird things. Funny things! I just wish I knew what was going on in his head at that time! Most likely it is probably, "You don't know what you are talking about, MOM!" or "Drew I'm gonna kick you in the shin if you do that again!"



It's just hilarious to watch his face and watch him walk around! He totally beats to his own drum!

Heartbroken

So...I have this friend that i've known for the last 9 years, he actually graduated with my husband. Anyway, I thought he was a good friend. Little did I know he was a blogger as well, so I go to read it and find out that I have to be invited! What in the world!

Jeremy! I take back all of my 12 hugs for the last 9 years!! :)

Just kidding! I still love you guys!
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You there?

Matthew was in his bed tonight and I have been sitting here quietly on the computer blogging all of this.

Matthew starts yelling...mom, mom, momma, mom!

I just sit here quietly and continue to type. Pretty soon I hear...Mom, you there?

I can't help but chuckle. So then it starts all over again...Mom, mom, momma, mom! I said what this time and he goes...dad there?

I replied...yes, he's sitting here.

Matt does his contagious little giggle and goes...OH!

Melt My Heart

I'm very guilty for saying to Matthew...Hello, love of my life, or goodnight love of my life. It's just what I do with him! With Andrew I always say, goodnight George! (Georger is his nickname!)

Anyway, tonight Drew asks me...Mom why do you say Matthew is the love of your life.

I replied...it's just something I say.

Drew counters...why don't you say it to me?

I felt horrible. I don't love him any less, it's just been a thing with Matthew and I.

So as I feel horrible and I tell him I love him as I am putting him to bed...he says...Mom...I love you to the moon!

I know it is totally from a book, but it totally melted my heart!

I think we found our thing!

Bed!

Matthew has been sleeping in our bed a lot lately, moreso because he is superglued to my side for some unknown reason. So he automatically goes in to our bed. However, if i get up, he gets up, if i lay down, he lays down...on top of me!

Tonight jason was taking out the garbage and he pounded on Andrew's window. I heard him come back into the garage and said to the boys...here he comes you better get in your bed.

Matthew went running down the hall to then stop in the hallway and cry because he didn't know which bed to crawl into. He just stood there and cried...bed, which bed?

I had to laugh!

Sir!

Matthew doesn't talk much but lately he has a new thing as he's starting to put 2 and 3 words together.

His new thing...Yes/No Sir!

Clean Up Your Act!

Tonight, Jason was taking out the trash when I was reading him an email in it and it has a curse word in it and I read it in front of Matt. Jason says I need to clean up my act or all the swear words Matthew knows is going to come out in speech therapy!

Matthew asks..."What Dad?"

So then Jason says to Matt that he needs to clean up his act. So Matthew spent the next few minutes looking for his act to clean up! It was great!

Help Finally!

Well, we had the meeting today and set up the time...Matt gets to start speech therapy on MONDAY! I've been wanting this for so long, but then as I'm sitting there, listening to what his speech therapist has to say it is frustrating. In my head all I could think was...he doesn't seem that bad to me!

I guess I am his mom and I understand him quite well. Then they started talking about his cognitive help that he may need and that we should get it started before he gets to school rather than waiting until he gets to school. I just kind of sat there in shock and was like...what? Huh? When we did the test the things he didn't get were things that he had to speak. I just passed it off that it was his speech and we would re-evaluate it later. Now I'm thinking...is that the wrong idea? I don't want him to be behind. he's just three though and he has this imagination like wild.

But as she was saying at the meeting today...he doesn't know his colors, he doesn't know his numbers...Andrew new all this stuff at this age!!! Could it be because I snuggle Matthew where I worked with Andrew? Maybe working full-time isn't worth it!

It's just all a lot to swallow.

On the other hand...I am so excited he is finally getting speech help!

Holy Empty Leg

Matthew ate half a frozen pizza today! I took a minute to check his legs real quick for hollowness, but there wasn't anything rattling in them that i could tell. I am just impressed!

Rhyming

Andrew, Matthew and I were driving to Norfolk last week to do a little shopping. Lately has like to do this rhyming game...does this rhyme with this and what rhymes with that...

Anyway, he as I am driving I throw out...what rhymes with truck. Without hesitation he returns...F***!

I couldn't help it...i laughed. All I could respond was...although you are correct, it does rhyme, that is very inappropriate!

He knew I was proud of him though!

failure once again!

So Jeremy informs me the other day when i call him and attempt to pawn clothes off on he and Therese that I haven't been blogging enough lately! For a couple days i had my computer on and I would just come straight to it to type what the boys did funny. Please note earlier in the comment...for a couple days! It's not that the funny things haven't continued, it's just that sometimes it is hard to keep up!

So this is for you Jeremy...I'm trying!

yet another one liner!

While watching the Olympics...he asked to watch the Chinese...don't know why...

"That's not a China guy, that's a normal guy!"

Andrew's newest one liner!

"Matt, I'm not a kid anymore!"

So Strong!

We carry a diaper bag with all of Matt's meds that he may possibly need at any time. It is where I keep the tylenol there and needed to give some to Matt tonight as he was complaining of a sore throat.

I asked Matt if he wanted to go get the diaper bag and he did. So he went over to get it and it was heavy...of course, it carries a nebulizer...anyway, he called for help. Instead he dropped it to the floor and dragged it.

I said, "Wow, you got it!"

Matt replied, "I strong!" Then proceeded to go over to Drew and show off his muscles.

Then later Matt had water and Drew wanted a drink. Matt rolls it on the floor and in Matt language basically said...go get it dog! he was treating Drew like a dog! I laughed...

The most terrifying experience of my life!

Wow, I didn't realize it had been almost 2 months since I last blogged. Things have been completely crazy around here.

We finally got to the point with Matthew that they were going to put tubes in his ears and take out his adenoids. Dr. Denman was in Omaha and is amazing! Yes, he looks 12, but he's awesome. He has that...I'm a parent too...feel to him and I have no clue if he has children or not.

So yesterday we were off to Omaha. Matt had to be at Dr. Kronberg's to have a pre-op physical done. He checked out perfect of course. I asked Dr. Kronberg however, about this leg pain that Matthew continues to have. He'll limp some days or he wake up in the middle of the night screaming that his legs hurt. Some nights we are doing this like 3 or 4 times. They Motrin or Tylenol will no more wear off and he'll be screaming again.

I asked Dr. Kronberg about this and he got serious really quick. He looked over Matt's legs and moved them and poked them and manipulated them and then said...

"Guys, I'm not trying to scare you, but we have to rule out BONE CANCER!"

At the first I was like...okay, no biggy and we finished with the physical and received instructions to head to Children's Hospital where they would draw a CBC, CRP and sed rate. Dr. Kronberg also wanted to do a hip xray.

We stopped to have lunch at Red Robin...Awesome if you din't know that...and then we headed to the hospital.

I opted for the xray first and then the lab work. That's what you learn in school right, least invasive first. Then after all that we headed to find baby gifts.

I slowly began to think about things. Over and over in my head, all I could hear was BONE CANCER, BONE CANCER, BONE CANCER! He couldn't have cancer, no way, he just had ear infections, not cancer.

I found myself playng out every scenario in my head that afternoon. I'd after postpone boards....he'd have to have chemo at Children's...I wouldn't be able to work...and last but not least. BONE CANCER! When you are diagnosed with bone cancer...that's pretty much it.

I was fine until about 5 p.m. I'd been waiting to hear from Dr. Kronberg and he wasn't calling. I knew the clinic was closed and I hadn't heard anything. At this point my thought process was, it's bad and he won't tell me bad news over the phone so maybe he'll be meeting us at the hospital tomorrow. I wasn't sure. I had made it through the previous five hours without crying....until now.

I lost it, I just cried and cried and cried. I didn't know what to think or what to do! Jason was so calm. He wasn't doubting that Matthew was sick. I couldn't imagine not having my big brown eyed boy. The little boy that could make me laugh with just a smile.

When we got to Cindy's house, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I saw a note on her buffet though that said..."Blood work normal, no xray." I immediately asked... "Is that Matt's?"

I could breath again! I was so excited. Granted the xray wasn't back yet, but it didn't matter. The blood work would have to be indicative too for a cancer diagnosis. I could deal with a malformation or disformity.

So we went to the hospital this a.m. and had our tubes put in and our adenoids out. It all went off without a hitch and the x-ray came back clear. It was a great day!

I told my friend Kim that through all of this another thought of mine was...I hope there isn't an increase WBC. Then they will call off the surgery and I don't want that to happen.

Kim agreed that only a nurse would think like that!

Delivery or Di'Giorno

Jason asked Andrew what he wanted to eat tomorrow while I'm at work. So I was rattling off the list of stuff that I got at the grocery store today for the boys to make. After the fettucini alfredo, spaghetti, chicken, hamburgers and green bean casserole, Andrew decides on macaroni and cheese and pizza. So after all that, then he asks:

"Mom, is the pizza, Pizza Hut or Caseys?"

I said, "Excuse me?"

So he asks again if it is Pizza Hut or Caseys and i tell him it is frozen and he goes...

"Oh, grocery store!"

Sentimental memories

Yesterday we were on the interstate driving to Kearney for my sister's induction in to Sigma Theta Tau. Anyway, we were almost to Kearney and out of no where Andrew asks:

"Mom, How do you send cards to heaven?"

First, I asked him to repeat it, then I asked him why he wanted to know that:

"Mom, I want to send Great Grandma that lived at the nursing home a card cuz I miss her."

I started crying. You never quite realize how much a four year old understands until moments like this. It's been almost 2 months.

Big Brother's Fault!

Andrew and Matthew were playing outside today and Matthew came in and I could smell something. When I asked him if he dirtied his pants he goes..."No, Drew!"



Already knows to blame big brother!

Just because he's cute.

Isn't he so damn cute?

More allergies!

Andrew was in the hospital last weekend for just a few hours while they dumped some fluid into him.

Anyway, the rest of the week, we've been battling the tape thing on the arm ya know? So the other night I get out some alcohol wipes out of my stash from work and clinicals and was rubbing at it. This is the conversation that came as i rubbed...

Andrew: "Mom, what is this?"
Mom: "Alcohol"
Andrew: "Mom, I'm allergic to this!"
Mom: "How do you know that?"
Andrew: "Mom, can't you see my eyes burning?"

I just laughed and and replied...whatever kid!!

Never Close Your Eyes Around A 2 Year Old

I've been overly tired lately and today I got up and fed the boys and fell back to sleep on the couch...not meaning to. I woke up to Matthew smelling like sweet pea fragrance and attempting to put mascara on me!



When I told him to put it away and that he was NOT to touch it...he pointed to my eye and said..eye...pretty!



All I could say was...GRRRR LITTLE BOY!

Happy Easter

So, the other day i was talking to Andrew about Easter and I asked him what it was all about. Of course he said the Easter bunny, but then he said...The rebirth of Jesus! I was floored and started laughing because I wasn't expecting it at all!

Then today, I thought I would ask him again what Easter is all about! This time he said...it is when jesus comes back life!

I was so amazed at how much a four year old knew! I don't know where he picked it up, but I know that if his Great-Grandpa Shoemaker heard it...he'd be crying!

Speech Eval

So...Matthew finally had his Speech eval. Mary Jo came to the house to eval him and he did okay. He took a few minutes to warm up to her, but then once he did he did very well! He passed the comprehension part with flying colors and is slightly ahead of where he should be at! However, he is way behind on his speech and Mary Jo said that she could see that while we did the study. I was surprised that he knew more than I THOUGHT he did.

In the end he didn't qualify for services becuase his comprehension was too high and it off sets the vocabulary! It seems like he's been talking more now that we had him evaluated. We will re-evaluate in August if we can because they can do more on his articulation at that time!

He just came up to me and puts his hand up and goes...up then he puts it down and goes...down! I didn't know he could do that! He's leaping and bounding! I LOVE IT!

Toot Toot!

For just this once, I have to toot my own horn.

Saturday, Feb. 16 was the Nebraska State Student Nurse Convention which was held at NECC. Our SNA had put a bug in my ear that they had nominated me for a Community Service award. I had kind of forgotten about it until yesterday at convention when someone asked me how I pronounced my name.

Needless to say, I was awarded the Individual Community Service award for the mentoring program I put together for our program at NECC. The program isn't the greastest yet, but we are working the bugs out of it.

I just wanted to share.

Valentine's Day

I haven't made a Valentine's day box in a long time...roughly about 15 years. However, my parents helped us make some REALLY cool Valentine's boxes.

This year, we got to help make Andrew's. Man how things have changed. I never remember boxes being this cool! Although my dad did make an awesome one, one time. Here is what Andrew's looks like this year. Jason is so creative!

FINALLY!

So...3 months later i am finally getting to blog again. I have wanted something so many times to just be able to write little tidbits here or there about quirky things the boys said or were doing, but my desktop has been acting weird so I haven't had to been able to do it a lot. However, I invested into a laptop and hopefully that will change!

So bare with me and keep checking in!