I have busted my nuts these last 6 weeks...yes 6 weeks! Can you believe it?! :) Anyway, been working my tail off trying to get this breastfeeding thing to work and to have enough milk for Christopher. He's remained jaundiced and when at 5 weeks we took him to meet Dr. K...he was very alarmed by his color. He checked his bili and it was 12.2 and that's where it's been hanging out!
Dr. K was worried that his liver wasn't functioning right, but his direct bili was 0, so that was a good result and showed his liver was fine. He also did a CBC and although everything was fine, he was slightly anemic. So in true Dr. K fashion, he was worried that something else could be going on.
When he talked to me on Friday, he suggested putting him on formula for a couple days to see if the jaundice would go away and then he would know it was breastmilk jaundice! Although, I knew this worked, I wasn't too set on it! I pondered it Friday and thought...ya know...I'm just gonna keep nursing him because I've worked so hard to get it to work and I am doing this to help protect him against allergies or lessen them maybe!
When Dr. K called Saturday morning to check on him and discuss things again and expressed how worried he was and that he would probably do more testing if we didn't do the formula test just to make sure that he didn't have another hemolytic disease or something!
After crying to Jason about how frustrated I was that I had worked so hard and that I was scared to give it up because I was afraid he wouldn't go back to breast milk again, we decided that if he saved him pokes it was in Chris' best interest!
We started formula at 4 p.m. yesterday and let me just say, last night was hell! He doesn't like the formula, which yay for me in a way...boo for my sleeping pattern! He just screams at times. For 6 weeks, he has done not much more than whine or fuss for a couple minutes, but this is screaming! He's not content what so ever!
I feel horrible, but will be glad when this trial is done in the next few hours.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I don't think so!
For those who are around Andrew a lot, they know that he is quick to respond and always HAS to respond!
The other day we were on our way to Grandma Shoe's house and Matt was trying to ask me something as I was trying to back out of the driveway. I told him to hold on a minute and in the meantime Andrew attempted to answer and this was Matthew's response:
"Andrew, I'm talking to Mom! Is your name Mom? I don't think so!"
Where he got this, I'm not sure, but 4 days later I am still getting many chuckles out of it!
The other day we were on our way to Grandma Shoe's house and Matt was trying to ask me something as I was trying to back out of the driveway. I told him to hold on a minute and in the meantime Andrew attempted to answer and this was Matthew's response:
"Andrew, I'm talking to Mom! Is your name Mom? I don't think so!"
Where he got this, I'm not sure, but 4 days later I am still getting many chuckles out of it!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Rock-a-bye
Big Matt bought Christopher a new swing! Not only because he is an awesome best friend, but he's also Chris' godfather!
I was proud of myself when I was able to put it together. The downside is Andrew wanted to attempt the same thing and was way more help than I needed! We got it put together though with only one extra piece! Have no fear though, I did eventually figure out where that other piece went!
We did this all while Matt was with Aunt Claire! :) Needless to say...because of the new swing fascination, Matthew was in time out within 10 min of being home!
I still think Matt needs hearing aides, because the only time he hears me is when I talk loud! :)
I would also like to say...God bless the inventor of the baby swing! :)
I was proud of myself when I was able to put it together. The downside is Andrew wanted to attempt the same thing and was way more help than I needed! We got it put together though with only one extra piece! Have no fear though, I did eventually figure out where that other piece went!
We did this all while Matt was with Aunt Claire! :) Needless to say...because of the new swing fascination, Matthew was in time out within 10 min of being home!
I still think Matt needs hearing aides, because the only time he hears me is when I talk loud! :)
I would also like to say...God bless the inventor of the baby swing! :)
When I grow up!
Matthew has informed me today that he is going to be Batman when he grows up!
He did reassure me however, not to worry because he would still live with me!
He informed me that I would have to get a new bed for him because he would be bigger, but if I didn't want to he could just share a bed with me!!
I can't wait to share this story when he is 18! :)
He did reassure me however, not to worry because he would still live with me!
He informed me that I would have to get a new bed for him because he would be bigger, but if I didn't want to he could just share a bed with me!!
I can't wait to share this story when he is 18! :)
Monday, January 04, 2010
Chocolate vs Cocoa
This evening the boys were out sledding in our yard! When they hit the door Matt yells...
"Mom, we want hot cocoa!"
Andrew then informs him that it is not only called hot cocoa, but it is also called hot chocolate! They then proceeded to have a 10 min conversation on whether or not it should be called Hot cocoa or hot chocolate!
They ended up sticking with Matt calling it hot cocoa and Andrew calling it hot chocolate!
"Mom, we want hot cocoa!"
Andrew then informs him that it is not only called hot cocoa, but it is also called hot chocolate! They then proceeded to have a 10 min conversation on whether or not it should be called Hot cocoa or hot chocolate!
They ended up sticking with Matt calling it hot cocoa and Andrew calling it hot chocolate!
Astronauts
Andrew asked me tonight as we were getting home from school....
"Mom, how come when astronauts are walking toward the spaceship they are always walking in slow motion?"
I unfortunately didn't have an answer for him!
"Mom, how come when astronauts are walking toward the spaceship they are always walking in slow motion?"
I unfortunately didn't have an answer for him!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
God vs. Dog
We are sitting here eating lunch today and Andrew strikes up a conversation!
"Mom, you know how dog and God are the same?"
I gave him a sideways look and questioned where he was going with this!
"Yeah, if you turn God around it's dog and if you turn dog around it's God!"
Oh, the complex minds of a 6 year old! Love it!
"Mom, you know how dog and God are the same?"
I gave him a sideways look and questioned where he was going with this!
"Yeah, if you turn God around it's dog and if you turn dog around it's God!"
Oh, the complex minds of a 6 year old! Love it!
Church
Last night I made the decision that we are going to church as a family! We were getting ready and the boys were kind of whining that they didn't want to go and Matthew asked if Christopher was going to go and I said yes...
Matt's response...but Mom, he don't know how to pray!
Matt's response...but Mom, he don't know how to pray!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Double Take
Please forgive me as I am sure that over the next few weeks as my hormones regulate, that you will get a lot of sappy, hormone balancing blogs, beginning with this one tonight!
I've known for the last 13 years that I've wanted to name a child Chris after...Chris obviously...but I would have to convince my other half of it! When we decided to give Christopher his name, Jason wanted to use Chris Eugene, which is exactly what my cousin's name was! I didn't care for the "Eugene" (Sorry aunt Cathy!) and I wanted my child to have it be partly his own as well...hence...Christopher!
Now, the weird part for me is when I hear Andrew call him Chris or even myself saying Chris, it's weird! Even typing it and watching as it comes out, I don't feel like "Chris" is his yet. He is very much a Christopher I know this and I don't doubt the name decision what-so-ever...especially when his dimples showed up the other day.
The hard part for me right now...keep in mind that I'm regulating hormones...is that even though it's been 13 years, "Chris" still belongs very much so with some still vivid memories! This including the last night I saw him at my confirmation...3 weeks before he died...goofing around and picking on my boyfriend at the time!! It also includes a very vivid memory of one heck of a croquet game which was the last time we were all together as a family with Chris and Beth.
And I know that in good time, the name will transition for me, but for right now, there are days it's hard to swallow! I was sitting in church tonight staring at my Christopher, with part of my heart wanting to keep this little family I have exactly like I have it, but not wanting the option of using the name Chris for the reason we did...does that make sense? I wish I had both of them!
I just remind myself that I still have the big Chris! He's very much alive in my thoughts and I'm sure some day in my Chris' actions! It's crazy how some of the things that transpired in my pregnancy and how his personality is so far that mimic his namesake!
I've known for the last 13 years that I've wanted to name a child Chris after...Chris obviously...but I would have to convince my other half of it! When we decided to give Christopher his name, Jason wanted to use Chris Eugene, which is exactly what my cousin's name was! I didn't care for the "Eugene" (Sorry aunt Cathy!) and I wanted my child to have it be partly his own as well...hence...Christopher!
Now, the weird part for me is when I hear Andrew call him Chris or even myself saying Chris, it's weird! Even typing it and watching as it comes out, I don't feel like "Chris" is his yet. He is very much a Christopher I know this and I don't doubt the name decision what-so-ever...especially when his dimples showed up the other day.
The hard part for me right now...keep in mind that I'm regulating hormones...is that even though it's been 13 years, "Chris" still belongs very much so with some still vivid memories! This including the last night I saw him at my confirmation...3 weeks before he died...goofing around and picking on my boyfriend at the time!! It also includes a very vivid memory of one heck of a croquet game which was the last time we were all together as a family with Chris and Beth.
And I know that in good time, the name will transition for me, but for right now, there are days it's hard to swallow! I was sitting in church tonight staring at my Christopher, with part of my heart wanting to keep this little family I have exactly like I have it, but not wanting the option of using the name Chris for the reason we did...does that make sense? I wish I had both of them!
I just remind myself that I still have the big Chris! He's very much alive in my thoughts and I'm sure some day in my Chris' actions! It's crazy how some of the things that transpired in my pregnancy and how his personality is so far that mimic his namesake!
Long Labor
Two weeks later, I am finally getting this memorialized, as if I need to because I'm pretty sure the whole experience in imbedded in my brain for the rest of eternity!
We went in on Dec. 18, for a cytotec induction with Mr. Christopher! He inserted one cytotec and contractions got going a little bit before 11 a.m.! They didn't start slow either, they started right off every 2-3 min apart! We used that and tried to get up with them and on the ball to ger me dilating! They stayed that close all day! Nicki Dougherty, the nurse that delivered me and helped deliver Matthew did everything in her power to help get this baby out, but he was stubborn and my dilation was slow!
Friday evening, we were still contracting, but a long way from baby...so much for each delivery gets quicker!
Around midnight - 1 a.m. the contractions began to slow down and spread and I was able to get some rest in preparation for the pitocin on Saturday morning! Amanda was good with keeping my pain meds in check so I could get good rest!
Saturday morning we were greeted by Jolene who had every intention of getting Chris to show up as soon as possible...again, this child had a mind of his own. Pit got started around 7:35 a.m. and shortly after contractions were in full swing again. It wasn't until around 9:30 that they were starting to really bother me though!
At 10 a.m. or around there, Wendell showed up to get my epidural in and after many attempts to put it in, because my back was so swollen and my husband almost passing out, I was able to rest for awhile.
The afternoon moved slowly and i was getting frustrated because I couldn't do anything because I had no use of my legs and I wasn't dilating at all it seemed. Around 5 p.m. Doc showed up and broke my water. I had so much fluid...it was all over the bed and the floor and still kept flowing out like a flippin river!!!
Dilation took off shortly after and around 7 p.m. Jolene started setting up for a delivery that we were sure that we were going to have by 8:30 p.m.! We shut my epidural off so I could feel the contractions...my request.
At 9 p.m. I was STILL a 9 and wasn't making any progress. I was starting to have this piercing pain in my right groin area after each contraction that hurt worse than the contraction so Wendell came back in to help me get comfortable, which he did a great job with. I was exhausted though. I was crying and tired and didn't know why I was crying and the only thing I could do was apologize for crying! Jason remained surprised that I was still able to cry so much.
Dr. Pete showed up around 10 and had me push a couple times to then have the truth be known as to why I was progressing so slow...Chris was positioned wrong! So now, with each contraction, I pushed and Dr. Pete tried to turn Chris. He was able to get him turned slightly after 45 min. of pushing and had hopes that he would just come now.
After another 45 min of pushing and Chris not budging what-so-ever...the decision was made to take him out via c-section. By this time it was 11:30, I was exhausted and could barely hold my own legs up any more and the piercing pain in my groin was still there, although the rest of my pain was under control.
Jason, my sister, Jolene and Dr. Pete had helped me through the longest 90 min. Dr. Pete even stayed at my bedside the entire time, holding my leg and watching Chris on the monitor! Jolene had a knee in her chest the entire time and I felt bad for it, but am pretty sure she may have been a little sore the next day! Red later told me that I was pulling on her bad wrist and Jason got what he deserved as he had got me in this predicament...HAHA!
After Dr. Pete left the room to get ready for the C-section, I lost it! I was terrified! I could feel Chris' head where I didn't think it was good! We were able to get it through my cervix, but he wouldn't budge any further! I was terrified...there were so many things going through my head that could go wrong or were already wrong!
Mariclaire was there instantly to dry my tears as well as Jason, Red and Red was calling dad to let him know the plan!
The c-section started and they got him out...but he didn't cry right away...I did! His 1 min apgar was 7 (3 points off) and I cried harder! That meant that there was something wrong...maybe not bad wrong, but something was off and I didn't know if it was for color, tone or breathing!!! He then started to whimper and finally cry...and I cried more...he was fine...then they called out his 5 min apgar...9!!! He was close to perfect (10!)!!!
Amanda and Jolene held him up and he was so long and handsome! He had some awesome markings on his head thanks to my pelvic bone and ischial spine, but he was fine! Red called it his Harry Potter scar because it looked like a lightening bolt, but was gone shortly after!!!
After everything had settled down I asked Dr. Pete if there was any chance he was coming out...I meant vaginally...Dr. Pete just laughed and Dr. Ptacek said...yeah...c-section!!
He was positioned, face up coming out towards my right thigh, rather than straight on! To top it off, the cord was wrapped around his neck, then underneath his arm and then wrapped around his body!
Once I got my hands on him, he was perfect! He looked just like his brothers and Dad was proud and so were his aunt, great-aunt and Papa Shoe...who all greeted him outside the operating room!
I couldn't ask for a better team to bring him into the world!!! Dr. Pete was a little crabby the next morning, but I chalked it up to only a few hours of sleep! I later found out that he didn't sleep much when he went home because it bothered him that he had to section me! I had a healthy baby...I didn't care too much! I just wouldn't have signed up voluntarily for a c-section!
Now, 2 weeks later, I still have the perfect baby and 2 great big boys and an amazing husband who is lacking sleep just as much as his wife! I just don't know that I'm ready to repeat all of this again any time soon!
We went in on Dec. 18, for a cytotec induction with Mr. Christopher! He inserted one cytotec and contractions got going a little bit before 11 a.m.! They didn't start slow either, they started right off every 2-3 min apart! We used that and tried to get up with them and on the ball to ger me dilating! They stayed that close all day! Nicki Dougherty, the nurse that delivered me and helped deliver Matthew did everything in her power to help get this baby out, but he was stubborn and my dilation was slow!
Friday evening, we were still contracting, but a long way from baby...so much for each delivery gets quicker!
Around midnight - 1 a.m. the contractions began to slow down and spread and I was able to get some rest in preparation for the pitocin on Saturday morning! Amanda was good with keeping my pain meds in check so I could get good rest!
Saturday morning we were greeted by Jolene who had every intention of getting Chris to show up as soon as possible...again, this child had a mind of his own. Pit got started around 7:35 a.m. and shortly after contractions were in full swing again. It wasn't until around 9:30 that they were starting to really bother me though!
At 10 a.m. or around there, Wendell showed up to get my epidural in and after many attempts to put it in, because my back was so swollen and my husband almost passing out, I was able to rest for awhile.
The afternoon moved slowly and i was getting frustrated because I couldn't do anything because I had no use of my legs and I wasn't dilating at all it seemed. Around 5 p.m. Doc showed up and broke my water. I had so much fluid...it was all over the bed and the floor and still kept flowing out like a flippin river!!!
Dilation took off shortly after and around 7 p.m. Jolene started setting up for a delivery that we were sure that we were going to have by 8:30 p.m.! We shut my epidural off so I could feel the contractions...my request.
At 9 p.m. I was STILL a 9 and wasn't making any progress. I was starting to have this piercing pain in my right groin area after each contraction that hurt worse than the contraction so Wendell came back in to help me get comfortable, which he did a great job with. I was exhausted though. I was crying and tired and didn't know why I was crying and the only thing I could do was apologize for crying! Jason remained surprised that I was still able to cry so much.
Dr. Pete showed up around 10 and had me push a couple times to then have the truth be known as to why I was progressing so slow...Chris was positioned wrong! So now, with each contraction, I pushed and Dr. Pete tried to turn Chris. He was able to get him turned slightly after 45 min. of pushing and had hopes that he would just come now.
After another 45 min of pushing and Chris not budging what-so-ever...the decision was made to take him out via c-section. By this time it was 11:30, I was exhausted and could barely hold my own legs up any more and the piercing pain in my groin was still there, although the rest of my pain was under control.
Jason, my sister, Jolene and Dr. Pete had helped me through the longest 90 min. Dr. Pete even stayed at my bedside the entire time, holding my leg and watching Chris on the monitor! Jolene had a knee in her chest the entire time and I felt bad for it, but am pretty sure she may have been a little sore the next day! Red later told me that I was pulling on her bad wrist and Jason got what he deserved as he had got me in this predicament...HAHA!
After Dr. Pete left the room to get ready for the C-section, I lost it! I was terrified! I could feel Chris' head where I didn't think it was good! We were able to get it through my cervix, but he wouldn't budge any further! I was terrified...there were so many things going through my head that could go wrong or were already wrong!
Mariclaire was there instantly to dry my tears as well as Jason, Red and Red was calling dad to let him know the plan!
The c-section started and they got him out...but he didn't cry right away...I did! His 1 min apgar was 7 (3 points off) and I cried harder! That meant that there was something wrong...maybe not bad wrong, but something was off and I didn't know if it was for color, tone or breathing!!! He then started to whimper and finally cry...and I cried more...he was fine...then they called out his 5 min apgar...9!!! He was close to perfect (10!)!!!
Amanda and Jolene held him up and he was so long and handsome! He had some awesome markings on his head thanks to my pelvic bone and ischial spine, but he was fine! Red called it his Harry Potter scar because it looked like a lightening bolt, but was gone shortly after!!!
After everything had settled down I asked Dr. Pete if there was any chance he was coming out...I meant vaginally...Dr. Pete just laughed and Dr. Ptacek said...yeah...c-section!!
He was positioned, face up coming out towards my right thigh, rather than straight on! To top it off, the cord was wrapped around his neck, then underneath his arm and then wrapped around his body!
Once I got my hands on him, he was perfect! He looked just like his brothers and Dad was proud and so were his aunt, great-aunt and Papa Shoe...who all greeted him outside the operating room!
I couldn't ask for a better team to bring him into the world!!! Dr. Pete was a little crabby the next morning, but I chalked it up to only a few hours of sleep! I later found out that he didn't sleep much when he went home because it bothered him that he had to section me! I had a healthy baby...I didn't care too much! I just wouldn't have signed up voluntarily for a c-section!
Now, 2 weeks later, I still have the perfect baby and 2 great big boys and an amazing husband who is lacking sleep just as much as his wife! I just don't know that I'm ready to repeat all of this again any time soon!
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